Eager - or should we say, egg-er - to learn more about the hard-shelled heroes of Egg Vs. Chicken? Read these profiles of the game's heroes!

For as long as anyone can remember, eggs and chickens have been struggling for supremacy. Some said it was about ideas: the age-old question of which came first? Who was the original poultry? Others claimed it was more about power and eggconomics. The larger, more numerous chickens ran things from early on in history, and often broke eggshells under their feathery tyranny, or enslaved them to do the dirty work. But always, throughout time, there were eggs who refused to hatch, and would rather let their yolks spill upon the dusty ground than join the Cluckocracy. These are their stories.

HARD BOILED
This grizzled egg is a veteran of countless shell-cracking conflicts across the globe and currently considered Public Eggnemy #1. Although he was originally a mercenary who'd roll for the highest bidder, working for egg and chicken forces alike, it was his experiences serving under famed guerilla leader Che Gueggvara in the mountains of Shellivia that hardened his resolve to resist the Cluckocracy wherever it reared its blood-red comb.

After Gueggvara was captured and eggsecuted by the Chicken Intelligence Agency (CIA), a bitter and vengeful Hard Boiled took his eggvolutionary tactics to Nicareggua, where in the '79 campagin he helped overthrow the Henoza dictatorship and bring the Sandeggnista Liberation Front to power. Not long after, Hard Boiled was framed by the Cluckocracy for crimes he did not commit, and imprisoned. He promptly escaped from a maximum security egg carton, and has been part of the Egg Underground ever since, on the run from feathered security squads.

YOLKER
Yolker is a relatively fresh egg, and knows more about the raucous punk music scene in his native city of Henchester than about the eggvolution. In the scene's heyday, Yolker was the lead singer for underground noise/punk/poachcore/metal sensation Bloody Rotten Fricassee, responsible for writing and singing/screaming such controversial hits as "Chicken Culture Killed Me Dog," "Dark Meat Stomp," "Yeearrarrhghghghgh!! Part 2" and "Yolk the Yolkin' Rooster Boys, Mate." But one thing he does know is that the Cluckocracy is always trying to keep him down!

Chicken censorship boards have been after Yolker and his music for years now, always trying to smash his free expression under claw. Yolker and his bandmates retaliated not only with more noise, more music, and more fighting lyrics, but with random acts of creative sabotage, such as painting the Prime Henister's house to look like an easter egg, or putting shells around famous chicken monuments. These "terrorist" acts got the authorities clawing after Yolker like never before, and he had to flee overseas, where he hooked up with the Egg Liberation Front...

DR. EGGBERT
Nestled in the Ivory Henhouse of eggcademia, Dr. Shellonious Eggbert IV never worried much about politics. He was too busy studying advanced theoreggtical physics and working on all sorts of unorthodox inventions, and spent most of his time with his shell buried in a complicated machine or a dusty old tome. One of the most brilliant minds amongst eggs or chickens, the Chicken Board of Higher Eggucation had begrudginly granted him numerous advanced deggrees, but refused to grant him tenure... unless he hatched. Dr. Eggbert knew, deep in his yolk, that he could never join the Cluckocracy, that he was an egg through and through.

His chicken superiors in the advanced theoreggtical physics department wouldn't give up and continued pressuring him. Eventually Eggbert was tapped by Cluckocracy officials to be part of a top-secret scientific effort, code-named the Chickhattan Project. Dr. Eggbert was the only egg in the hen-picked team of researchers, but they needed his sheer brilliance. After several months, however, Eggbert discovered that he was working on a new weapons system to suppress egg dissidents, and his conscience was shaken. The head researchers told him that due to his security level, he only had two choice: hatch, or end up like the dissidents: sunny-side up. Eggbert refused, but just as the chicken goons were about to raid his lab, an unlikely rescuer appeared in the form of Hard Boiled, who whisked the scientist away to a secret underground base.

SHELLEY
Little is known about this mysterious girl egg. Always sporting a pair of dark shades and a stylish haircut, she's been seen around the Egg Underground for years, hatching all sorts of trouble -- but always refused to get hatched herself! Rumor has it that she was largely responsible for igniting the fiery Riot Egggggg scene amongst creative young eggs in the chicken-dominated suburbs, and papareggzi photographers have spotted her consorting with famous talented eggs from Jackson Pollegg to Mick Jegger, leading some to suspect that she's a sort of artistic muse. "Behind every hard, cracked shell," she's been known to say, "there's always a soft, gooey ovum."

In recent years, Shelley has apparently been working on a magnum opus of sorts: a huge work of history written from the egg point of view, instead of the dominant "official story" of the Cluckocracy. She's also been seen in the company of notorious eggvolutionary Hard Boiled, and rumor suggests that the two are shacking up.

Play Egg Vs. Chicken

By Naomi Clark, project manager